The Bad Boy Allure ; the ride

I have always wondered why I am so in love with Damon Salvatore, why Cristiano Ronaldo, Chris Brown, Drake* seem attractive to me  or why Catherine is so in love with Vincent Keller.

Twenty four or vampire dairies would have nothing on 'why good girls love bad boys' if ever they decide to make a season film on that topic. I have always thought about it in the same category of ‘why men cheat’. There is just no reasonable reason. This is basically referring to all the John Mayer of the world (Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, Minka Kelly, Katy Perry… you get the drift).

Why the bad boys? I have always wondered why good girls can’t seem to stay away from bad boys, Not bad in a notorious way but bad in the sense that he's brash, cocky and he marches to the beat of his own drum( on his own time). He's on the edge, bordering on rude, being polite or caring and doesn't seem to give a damn about anyone but himself, he basically doesn't respect you as much as he should, he doesn't mind that you have been waiting 4 him for close to half an hour by the road side, etc. and frankly you really don’t mind..

Well here’s the thing: i don’t think any girl actually wants to date an asshole or someone that doesn’t treat her right. Instead, every girl wants to be the girl that tames the asshole. EVERY GIRL!

Like I tell my girlfriend, the fact is that most girls love a challenge; I don’t mean a math question challenge. Basically, dating as far as I am concerned in this our age group is all about playing the game; don’t say it is a lie. We already know before falling for him that he’s probably a jerk but we do it anyway, every time in fact. we lower our standard just to accommodate him. Why? Because we want to be the one that makes him fall in love, we want to be the exception, the one that tames him.

I am sure all girls would agree with me when i say dating a nice guy is safe and predictable but boring as a blackberry q10 phone without subscription. Girls love a project; again I am not referring to your final project in the university. We feel more useful in a relationship when the other person is broken; it keeps us busy- it’s like a part time job. We want to be the one who changes the guy into someone that sends us a ‘good morning dear’ text even if it just on bbm or whatz app. That text doesn’t mean as much if we’re not the one responsible for his change. There is pride knowing there is a growth or an improvement because we were involved, plus we are even more attracted when; It’s taboo; When your best friend and your roommate tells you not to go for this guy or that they don’t like the guy, you find it your assignment in life to prove them wrong. I’m talking about the one guy who everyone knows he not dateable material and there’s something exciting about going after someone who isn’t exactly “dating material”, maybe it is the fact that this type of guys don’t play by the rules and they are not exactly honourable, whatever it may be, for whatever reason, we find it our life calling to win this guy over. We hide the fact that just like guys we love the chase and frankly it is going to always be a chase my dear, don’t get deluded and oblivious to the fact that you are always going to be strung along. It’s always an emotional roller coaster and you’re always going to be strapped in. No matter how disappointed he makes you feel, you keep coming back for more. It’s an inevitable cycle, a never-ending story, and the surprising yet sad part is that we would still keep on reading that story. Because we need a stamp of approval for being the one that changes him..Dream on!

It all just a rush of adrenaline. When you get involved with a  bad boy it puts you on edge, which makes the situation risqué and vigorous .because the bad boy doesn’t want to start catching feelings and the girl doesn’t want to get hurt. The bad boy thinks ' I can make this girl bad' , and the good girl thinks ' I can totally fix that'. This  is a dangerous and tiring circle that both parties are ruthlessly per-taking in. It is okay to crush on this kind of guys  for at most two to four  months in my opinion...after that please move on to a 'nice guy' because the fact is that you can’t change people,, they can modify their behaviour but can’t change their personality; this is to good girls that are actually seeking a lasting relationship with this type of guys, don’t even crush on him to start with biko!

Don’t be carried a way by the hormone imbalance (it happens to the most faithful one of us), bad boys are just what they are. The fact is that you can’t change people, sure they can modify their behaviour but they can’t change their personality; .they might seem nice, caring and what ever the hell you think you want them to be but your mama told you to stay away from them for a reason. They are always going to be bad. I know you think you can..please put down those novels they won't help your ministry move.

Don’t be fooled by his charming and confident ways. Soon enough, he’ll be on to his next lady-bug. Don’t get caught up in chasing the guy who you think matters the most because in the end it’s just a game and you are smart.


*yes I think Drake can be so bad …just listen to rumours on media take out about his sexual escapades …lool