To Label or not label.

                                                                     ‘Shade which container has the salt in it?’

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I was recently gisting with my friend and we were talking about our everything, from our dry days, our recent vex moment to our love lives or the downside to not having one. Something she talked about caught my attention.

“Toke so I have this guy, we have been hanging out together, we talk a lot too. I like him and he says he likes me too. But the thing is that I don’t know what we are. I have asked him so many times to put a label on it and he says we are whatever I want us to be. I should be cool with this ?

According to my famous phone’s dictionary, label is to mark with a name. a label allows you to know what is in it a container, it allows you to know what to do with the content and what not. For me labels have their advantages. I have watched awkward moments so many times that I want a label on everything in my kitchen. I have been in/ seen all kind of relationships and I have always made it a thing to clarify the other person but most importantly myself on what we are.
We are in a generation where labels don’t matter in a relationship anymore. ‘We are just hanging out’ is the most famous phrase we use to butter things up. This is a crappie answer by the way.

This is the reasons why no label relationship sucks and they almost never work.

Somebody has an issue:
Labels in any type of relationship are needed no matter what except you don’t really want that relationship. A guy said to me ‘Toke the only reason why I don’t put labels on some of my relationships is if I don’t want it or I want to keep my options opened. Plus who doesn’t like getting benefits without responsibilities ’. That been said, this is not the only reason. The person that doesn’t want the label could be hung up on another person or has daddy issues/ mummy issues (does anyone have mummy issues?)  Or maybe just has a deep commitment issue. Either way you should run!

Your feelings would never matter.

Just imagine going to the club with your ‘whatever’ and another girl slides up to him, rubbing up and stuff and he is giving her the green light because you aren’t his nothing or him picking a call from a girl you don’t know and he is talking to her the way it started out between you two, regardless of the thunder darts shooting from your eyes he continues. All you can do for the rest of the day is to go sulk in a corner till he loses interest in new girl because really you don’t have a right to chastise him. NOTE: Sweetheart, labels or not people have feelings (Especially the Venus race).

No laws, no offense; no specific rule on how anyone is suppose to behave.

With labels comes responsibility because of labels we have to behave in socially acceptable manner; there is just an invisible rule book when it comes to any type of relationship. It is just like baking, once you aren’t bothered to follow the standard procedure the cake would definitely turn out bad. A not so labeled or labeled relationship without ground rules would soon go bad. I know this!

Limited communication.
When you aren’t really sure if someone is in your corner, there would be a limit on things you are willing to share with the person. You might do well as friends but you still can’t tell everything to a friend. At the end of the day you might be found lonely and there is also the question of same book, same page.

You know but they don’t know.
Isn’t it annoying when you have to correct your friends all the time that you aren’t an item. Imagine your friends and relatives planning you guys lives, talking about how you both look good together and how they see the love/ chemistry inbtw and you are like “errrrrr we are just frds of sort” Talk about the ‘A’ moment.

The ‘So’ moment.
If you have watched the awkward moment you would know this moment. It is a moment when you decide thoor I have had enough, it is when you think “I love this cloth but it is faded, worn out, Should I keep wearing it or let it go”. Every no label relationship get to this stage brought about by so many things, a change in job place, a re- think if the sex is really worth it, a more willing/potential other, a self assessment  etc. at this point it either gets better or you realized you have been doing the friends with benefit thingy.

All in all, I am not saying labels are the first thing to consider in a relationship, but if it doesn’t have anything to do with any traumatic issue, and a lot of sex is involved, a lot of together stuffs are involved, it is going to 6 months and you both claim you are fond of each other (if someone is not lying) you need to slap a label on It; it is already what it is, labels shouldn’t matter else otherwise.

 If it is FWB, Lovers* or B/f /G/f, you should both agree on it: same page and shit, if you aren’t comfortable with it walk away if you don’t want to end up like Yemi Alade  in the Marry me video.

 Or am I just old fashioned?