The Green Eyed Monster called Jealousy: My Green Eyed Monster

The Green Eyed Monster; My Green Eyed Monster

 

I look in the mirror and the reflection is one ugly mothafucker!

According to Emma Strub 

“it’s ugly to feel unhappy because of someone else’s success, but human beings are often ugly”

At least I know I am still human.

In this age and time with the advent of ‘in your face social media', especially Instagram, where we are allowed to be vain and narcissistic, where picture perfect people with picture perfect lives are in your face, it becomes easy for one to feel inferior; it becomes difficult not to compare your life with other people. 

You realize that no matter how hard you work or no matter how beautiful or happy you are there is always someone more beautiful, someone more successful, some one more in love, some one that can cook better, someone that has your dream job, that writes better, that has nice bags, that has cute friends …. That has more everything!

Whether I like it or not, I tend to subconsciously compare myself to other picture perfect people and sad news is I always come up short. In my mind I know a lot of people are better, reasonably better, but the green eye monster won’t let me be genuinely happy for them, it won’t let me be happy or even great.  It lurks around in the shadows waiting for any sign of weakness on my part and it takes over me. It exposes my own insecurities, my own bitterness, my shortcomings, it exposes my humanness but what do I do?

I like the picture, I say well-done, I say great job and I actively tell myself God has declared that you will get there too and I work towards been better. Although my green eyed monster is subdued from time to time, I have learnt to live with it. I have trained my mind to see it as ugly, an ugly reminder to do better for myself and feel better for other people doing better.

Thank you Greeny!